And then get in real close and whisper in their ear, “Well, sure as God made little green apples, I’m gonna kick your mfing ass all over this Star Trek.” You know? Get ‘em RIGHT in the Tarantinos. You know? You’ve weakened them with nostalgia, that common bond you share. “Hey remember when you ate too much pizza and almost barfed on the Skee-ball at Chuck E.

Cheese together, ate a bunch of pizza and played a marathon of games even though you are both in your mid-30s and don’t have kids. Reflect upon a funny moment you shared together. We might not be able to teach you how to beat Monster Zero, but by god will we give you the psychological blueprint to make sure you can inflict enough psychic damage on your opponent that they won’t be able to either. Why are we doing this? For the good of the people. Well, what’s good in a boring-ass game like poker is TRIPLE good in the dog-eat-dog world of pinball. You know what a cooler is, right? The person they send in to shut down a hot hand at the poker table. It’s time to face facts: You’re never going to beat them on your own. The friend who isn’t allowed to play their extra balls.

The one who ALWAYS hits the super jackpot on a multiball. The one whose ball seems to go on just a little too long.

Super skill nudge